Living the Teachings

Today was day 40 of doing Kirtan Kriya.  We have been on a journey together and I continue to reach toward the light.  Just as I finished and was sitting in the one minute of silence, my daughter bounded up the stairs and tapped me on the shoulder.  ”Here, Mama,” she said, “I drew a rainbow for you.”  And then she kissed my cheek.   I feel like I made it and she presented me with a gift to hold dear to my heart.  My sweet girl.  Sat Nam.

Here I am one day from finishing this amazing kriya.   While I do this kriya, I am given such insights and images.  I always come back to the image of the garden: Sa-Ta-Na-Ma:  Birth, Life, Death, Renewal.  And I have been shown many painful memories and as I wallow there in the memories of my own sh-t, I was once again given the image of the garden. Gardens love poop and with lots of good poop, up sprout seedlings that turn into bountiful plants to eat or beautiful flowers.  And plants beckon to the light.    So, I am grateful to the sh-t in my life for inevitably it brought me to the Light.

Another observation I’ve made is when meditating on the meaning of the mantra Birth, Life, Death, Renewal it occurred to me that each event is given the same amount of emphasis.  Birth is just as potent as Death as is Renewal as is Death.  Birth is a moment as is death.  And yet we, as humans, place so much emphasis on the Life part and shade out the others.  This life is but a visit.   While how we act in life should be done seriously, when we put so much seriousness towards our life, I think we miss the point and then we live without happiness.   Life is too serious to be taken seriously. Sat Nam.

This kriya continues to churn out experiences from my past where I don’t want to go.  What comes flooding to the surface are all the ungraceful acts, all those encounters that did not serve me, all those times when I forgot or never knew “I am grace of god”.  This is hard.  I find myself squirming through it sometimes and yet allowing it to surface, flow over, and pass on.   I know this kriya is not meant to stir up memories that will make me feel guilty, rather it serves to help me release these imprints, these memories – release, bless, forgive.    Now I know who I am.  Now I know when I am not being graceful before I even act, and to this I am most grateful.   I am forever grateful for the teachings of Kundalini Yoga which bring me right back to my authenticity, my graceful knowing of what it means to be a woman.  Sat Nam.

As I continue to do this meditation, I repeatedly return to the image of the ocean waves crashing on the shore, retreating and then crashing again.  This mantra and meditation takes me to the ocean shore, and it is the repetitive motion of the tide and the waves whether we are there to witness them or not.  The ocean waves are steady, loyal, reliable, and continuous like this mantra that is a continuous flow in our lives whether we recognize it or not.  It is the never ending cycle of birth, life, death and renewal.

The other image that comes to mind is the garden.  As a farmer, I know that the garden is a constant reminder of Sa Ta Na Ma.  Every plant goes through this cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth.  It is the story of the seasons, the garden and our lives.  We are the recurring cycle of Sa Ta Na Ma – birth, life, death, and renewal.

The most challenging aspect of doing a 40-day meditation (and also it’s main purpose) is that each day brings a different you.  One day you are exhilarated and focused and another day you are feeling despondent and scattered.  Yet the kriya remains the same: it is steady and stable and always there and doesn’t matter what kind of mood you are in.

I have been dealing with a cold which makes it very hard to get up early and do my morning saddhana.  Today I woke up late but started Kirtan Kriya with a slight headache and coughing up sputum.  Then my 4-year-old daughter woke up and ran upstairs to where I was meditating.  She sat in my lap and squirmed this way and that making herself comfortable.  I kept right on going. (She knows now not to speak when Mama does yoga).   This is just the way it is some mornings.  I do not live in a monastery where it is quiet and private.  But the kriya was there for me, steady and solid, no matter what I was going through.  I think this is why it is often termed a house-holders yoga. Sat Nam.

Currently I am doing a 40- day meditation : Kirtan Kriya.   It is said that to break a habit or create a new habit, to do  something for 40 days.  So, often in Kundalini Yoga, if we want to create a change in ourselves we do a meditation or kriya for 40 days. I started this kriya on Winter Solstice, 2009.

Kirtan Kriya is a 31- minute meditation and this is my first attempt at doing it for 40 days.  It is said that it clears one’s aura and one’s arcline, focuses the mind and enhances intuition.  This meditation is especially recommended for women because as women we tend to store much of our past in our aura or arcline for a long period of time (men do as well, but for a much shorter time period).  It is said that when a  woman engages in sexual relations with a man, regardless of the encounter, she imprints his karma and his destiny onto her aura for many years.   This is a way to clear that and strengthen her own aura and arcline.  The arcline is directly associated with one’s intuition.  When a woman’s arcline is strong and solid, it is impossible to lie to her.

To learn how to do Kirtan Kriya click here.